Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven

Headed for Divorce

Permanency of Marriage Booklet

Hello dear friends.

Today it's so easy to be happily married one day and the next day miserable and discontented, wanting out of marriage. When my oldest daughter was three years old, I was headed for divorce. I wanted a new life and new problems. An angel stopped me and turned my life around by a piece of truth.

When my oldest daughter was 3 years old, I fell victim to the disease of wanting to leave my husband. When I expressed my discontent and aggravation about all his faults to my friends, they just said, "Oh, you don't need to put up with this man. You deserve a better life." And so, they fed my ego.

I became confused and nursed a desire to leave my husband and child and start a new life. One day I packed a suitcase and left home. As I was leaving, my husband said, "If you decide to come back, come quickly before it is too late. If you come back, it is forever. I know we are going to have difficulties. It is going to take us awhile to get our house in order. But I know if we work at it, we can succeed."

As I traveled in the car toward the beach, I quickly forgot my husband's words. An exhilarating feeling swept over me. I was leaving all my annoying problems. I had been set free. By the time I arrived at a motel, my mind was made up. I was going to start a new life as a single woman. I scarcely even considered the responsibilities I'd left behind with my little girl and husband. I was caught up in dreams of making a new career, a new life for myself.

The next afternoon, I went into the motel hot tub and swimming pool to relax and unwind. A mother with seven children in tow, joined me. I told her I was starting a new life and had left my daughter and husband behind. The woman on the bench beside me did not share my enthusiasm. A sad look came over her face.

"You know, you remind me of myself about five years ago, she said. I, too, left my husband. Now I have married another man and between us we are raising these seven children. Many are the days I long to be with my original husband. I believe we could have worked things out, but we just gave up. Now I have a new set of problems, and, of course, some of the old problems have resurfaced. I realize I only exchanged one set of problems for another. I did not solve anything. Now my life is even more complex because I have to juggle the needs of two families."

She advised me to go back to my husband and child and work things out. "Start over again with a new attitude. Believe that your loved ones are doing the best they know how and if they knew how to do better, they would. Don't be suspicious of their motives, but trust them. God has given you a family to love and care for, and that is where your true responsibility lies."

I took this woman's advice and I drove back home. I have thanked God many times for sending this angel.

When I returned, my husband and I sat down and recommitted ourselves to each other. This time, we truly made a lifetime commitment - for better or worse. We will not even consider divorce. We are sticking it out until death do us part.

You know, attitude makes a huge difference. Many of my problems were perceiving evil intent on the part of my husband. I misinterpreted his motives and made all kinds of false assumptions, instead of asking him directly what he was doing. And I failed to trust him.

We resolved to dedicate at least one hour every day to talk over our concerns. When weather permitted, we hiked outdoors as we talked. Each of us was allowed to speak what is on our mind, without any interruptions. Our purpose was to help each other, not to make accusations. Gradually, our communication has improved. With this approach, little annoyances are nipped in the bud before they grow into crises. I praise God for having built the loving relationship we now have and I encourage others, please, don't give up.

You can change things if you can change your attitude.

I didn't know it at the time, but the New Testament does not allow for divorce and remarriage. The so-called exceptions don't hold up when studied in context and with the other scriptures. For more information on this crucial topic, check out the booklet, Permanency of Marriage, available online. See our link below.

Wake up and repent. The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.